The Personal מוכיח - A Worthy Idea

Personal trainer.

Personal shopper.

Personal רבי.

Personal מוכיח?

In a recent (dated November 16/9 Kislev 5779) issue of Yated Ne'eman (USA), in an article by Tzvi Yaakovson, it was related (p.41) in a segment entitled "A PAID CRITIC", that R. Nosson Wachtfogel ז"ל, mashgiach of בית מדרש גבוה in NJ, paid a generous monthly salary to a yungerman, who was assigned to visit him once a week, and deliver criticism and הוכחה.

It was a pleasant surprise to see that.

I had, of course, known of the famous story of the Vilna Gaon asking the Dubno magid to give him mussar. A shining example of the humility, and search for truth, of the Vilna Gaon. Also, in פרק ו:ו of מסכת אבות we are taught that one of the things that Torah is acquired by is אוהב את התוכחות, loving rebuke (as the posuk in Mishlei says, הוכח לחכם ויאהבך, rebuke the wise and he will love you).

But I don't recall hearing recently of someone designating someone to rebuke him regularly, and even paying him for it. Wow!

I don't know where Rav Nosson got the idea, the practice from. Kelm? Elsewhere?

Yes, in the past, especially in old mussar yeshivas, there were frameworks for personalized mussar, rebuke. Novhardok had something called a birzhe, which I believe could serve that purpose, for one example. But that was between fellow talmidim, not from a paid outsider.

Some Chasidim have, or recommend, personal משפיעים, which could encompass mussar giving.

Anyway, since we are in a time when some people claim that no one can give תוכחה nowadays, even basing their contention on Jewish sources, which, along with the outside influences of attitudes like "mind your own business", and "none of your business", can lead to there being sometimes situations of הפקרות and extreme lack of rebuke, it it is especially pleasant to see that the idea of personal תוכחה has not entirely disappeared.

Perhaps the tzibur at large should consider such frameworks for personal tochacha once again.

Another thought that came to me was that in addition to תוכחה being important for everyone, perhaps there is a special need for it among מנהיגים, our dear leaders, especially in certain settings. In addition to their being in positions of power and influence, where errors can be more costly and damaging R"L than with lesser individuals, there is also a danger of people being afraid of, or reluctant to take issue with them, fearing that it would be disrespectful and improper, leading to them perhaps lacking at times vital feedback.

For all of the above reasons, it seems like an idea worthy of serious consideration, that people (especially leaders) should consider emulating R. Nosson z"l to some extent, in one way or another, and make efforts to solicit rebuke on occasion, and not just surround themselves with yes men.

(I understand that sometimes people like spouses or chavrusas can play this role as well, but sometimes they don't at all, or do so inadequately.)

In the merit of pursuing truth and loving tochacha, may we be zoche to acquire Torah and Emes.