A common expression heard from some modern "experts" in chinuch these days is that we must give "unconditional love" to children, and in general.
But is that the way of our holy Torah?
Chazal give us valuable advice when dealing with situations in which correction is in order. ת"ר לעולם תהא שמאל דוחה וימין מקרבת, the left hand should push away, while the right (stronger hand) should draw near (BT, Sanhedrin 107b). This middle path, we can call it the שביל הזהב, the golden mean, to borrow a phrase from רמב"ם, is distinct from the two extremes of total rejection (pushing away with both hands) and total acceptance, no matter what (aka "unconditional love").
I heard a beautiful explanation of this, in the name of Rav Aharon Soloveichik z"l, of Chicago, as follows. When one rejects, or draws near another person with both hands, the person remains facing in the same direction afterward. Just the distance between them and you has changed. On the other hand, when the left (weaker) hand pushes away, while the right (stronger) hand draws near, the result is that the person shifts and turns, and gains a new perspective, improving the situation. This is ancient wisdom of our great Rabbis that we ignore at our own peril.
May הקב"ה help us do the right thing, even if it not PC at the moment.
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Chabad loves that term, but actually they're conflating unconditional love with unconditional acceptance. Telling non observant Jews that they're welcome is one thing but when you tell them that they're accepted meaning that they should feel no pressure to change that's quite another thing.
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